big fish/foot/tale/nose

I have a pit in my right leg.
I am not sure if it is missing
A chunk of bone or flesh,
But I do know why:

An altercation with a great white.
I nearly lost all of my life -
But out of the sky swooped down
Bald eagles, in time to save me from further harm.

Did I tell you about the time
I went out fishing with my gramps
In the middle of a lake
And I caught one this big?

He squealed and squirmed as I pulled him in.
I thought I was a goner for sure!
But with a surge of superhuman power, I pulled him in the boat
And we ate him for weeks and weeks.

Why raise your eyebrows at me?
Put those eyes back into your head.
Oh fuck you, just fuck you!
I don’t lie -
I merely improve upon the truth.

Improve upon the truth...

Improve upon the truth...

It’s not like you don’t do it too!